[smith_john1]

Hi Everyone
Badly need advice or help. I am 28 and recently got married, i never tried to have sex before marriage. Now its been one month since i got married but i couldn't have sex because whenever i try to start intercourse my penis losses erection (Not completely but partially) except that my erection is fine (even my wife says your erection is good, when she holds it). I also see some bend in my erected penis towards right but no pain and nothing on shaft so i am kind of sure it is not Peyronie’s disease.

Little background. I used to masturbate daily or twice in a day since i was 11, i changed my habit from daily to twice in a week when i turned 23 and then one or twice in a month from 26. Because of this routine i never have any wet dream or nocturnal emission but i left masturbation 4 month before my marriage and its been more than 5 months since i masturbated but still i didn't have any wet dream or nocturnal emission.

1)Could anyone please tell me if not having wet dream is natural in this case?
2)Does this bent was caused by masturbation?
2)What should i do about sex and erection?

[jns]

Having a wet dream is not something that automatically happens. It takes a libido high enough and enough time away from any form of orgasm to have one. Even then there are no guarantees. Getting highly excited without orgasm probably would make a wet dream more likely.

Having a bent penis is just normal anatomical variation. It should not be a problem in your case.

Initially, having sex for the first time or several times can be anxiety ridden. I first had sex at 25 and the first time was fine because the girl I was with made me very comfortable. The next several times I couldn't finish and eventually lost my erection because I was with another girl who I was very attracted to and became to anxious about. Later I was with another girl, one who made me comfortable, and I was able to perform.

In addition, your pattern of masturbation makes me think that you have a relatively low libido. Twice in a week is probably normal, but twice a month is low. But, your wife says you have a good erection when she holds it.

Try having more time just being naked together and exploring each others bodies. When you have an erection, have a couple of thrusts at intercourse, then pull out and continue exploring or give your wife some sort of foreplay, be it masturbation or oral or breast play or just plain hugging and kissing. You will need lubrication if she is not fully warmed up for intercourse and may need it even if she is. Then repeat when you are hard again. It may not be what she wants at first, but if you can relax and stay hard longer, she will appreciate the results later. Talk to her about it. Make the room comfortable so it is easy for you to relax.

If nothing works, think about going to a doctor to possibly get a prescription to Viagra or one of the other similar drugs.

[tinyclitt]

Sounds to me like you're just nervous. Try to relax and stop worrying about how well you're performing. It may take a few months, but eventually you'll be able to have a raging hard penis and you'll feel like the stud you always were.

[Stillness]

Have you tried doing it in the morning or even after a nap? Sleep boosts testosterone. Even a brief 10-15 minute nap leaves me hard. Try it then.

Also exercise will allow you to relax better and increase testosterone. I don't know if you work out, but just doing some pushups will probably help if you don't. If you do workout, get a full body workout and try right after. Or plan on trying the morning after you get a good workout the day before.

One exercise in particular will help with erections, and that's exercising the PC muscles. They're the ones on your pelvic floor that you use to hold pee or push it out. Google "Kegel exercises." When I first started doing these I couldn't believe how hard I was in the morning.

Also having your wife kiss, lick, or nibble someplace you like while you are trying to penetrate could do it. That way you're not focusing on getting it in and you don't interrupt the moment.This has caused me issues when I've tried to go at it again a few minutes after already ejaculating. If my wife kisses me or licks certain places instead of looking at me while I'm trying to get it in, it gets back up.

This is getting long (ha ha), but one other thing that I think people overlook is the importance of foreplay for us. The focus is typically on the woman, but I've found that my desire and pleasure during sex is greatly impacted by the quality and duration foreplay. Make sure you're doing things that you enjoy and that you're doing them long enough to get you to the point that you're almost painfully erect.

Also, as a last resort before seeking medical or pharmaceutical assistance, you could try a little wine or alcohol if you haven't already.

[smith_john1]

Thanks everyone....

You make me feel better...i was thinking to see any doctor but i'll first try your advises out

[Harmony]

Just to add:

I have NEVER had a wet dream, probably because I'm such a light sleeper. I dreamt I was going to have sex with Kelly Brook once and woke up before it happened - very frustrating.

My penis isn't straight and bends slightly to the left (or to the right depending which angle you view it from).

All these problems are very common for men when they start having sex. I couldn't stay hard the first time I attempted to have sex. the second time I stayed hard but ejaculated straight away and kept doing that for ages (because I couldn't help it) and it drove my GF mad and made it clear how displeased she was by it.

Just look at this as a 'teething problem'.

Every man I know well enough to discuss these kind of things honestly with has admitted to hitting some type of 'bump in the road' when they start having sex.

Believe it or not this isn't actually a big deal.

Losing a loved is a big deal.

Being seriously injured is a big deal.

A woman dying while giving birth is a big deal.

People starving is a big deal.

You'll be fine, and believe it or not, you'll look back at this one day or laugh.

[smith_john1]

Thanks Harmony

..you really made me feel comfortable

Just to add:

I have NEVER had a wet dream, probably because I'm such a light sleeper. I dreamt I was going to have sex with Kelly Brook once and woke up before it happened - very frustrating.

My penis isn't straight and bends slightly to the left (or to the right depending which angle you view it from).

All these problems are very common for men when they start having sex. I couldn't stay hard the first time I attempted to have sex. the second time I stayed hard but ejaculated straight away and kept doing that for ages (because I couldn't help it) and it drove my GF mad and made it clear how displeased she was by it.

Just look at this as a 'teething problem'.

Every man I know well enough to discuss these kind of things honestly with has admitted to hitting some type of 'bump in the road' when they start having sex.

Believe it or not this isn't actually a big deal.

Losing a loved is a big deal.

Being seriously injured is a big deal.

A woman dying while giving birth is a big deal.

People starving is a big deal.

You'll be fine, and believe it or not, you'll look back at this one day or laugh.